Homeschool Fever

One of the first things you may hear when you announce your intention to homeschool is the refrain of “What about socialization?!”. Stereotypical images of “crazy, hermited radical conservatives” living life in fear of the world while teaching who-knows-what to their children can creep up on even the best of us.

The mass public, who have only personally experienced the public school way of life may truly believe children must experience “school” in order to become a stable adult. Don’t get discouraged by these remarks. Remember, people making these comments usually do have the best interests of your children in mind.

When people bring up the issues of socialization, you should first determine what their view of socialization is.

Missing School Experiences

People coming from this angle may view traditional school experiences as a “right of passage” and feel sorry that your child will be “missing out”. Their own memories of their childhood cloud their judgement as they believe all children must experience such things.

The traditional school experience included such noted “rights of passage” as: the first day of school, playground fun, cheerleading, sports, holidays, band practice, choir, lockers, dances, prom night, and staged graduation ceremonies. These events have been mass marketed by the public education system as “necessary” in America, and some folks have come to view these experiences as synonomous with education & learning itself.

If this is what they mean when questioning the “socialization” of your child, then no, your child will not be “socialized” in that sense. What they will be doing though is making many more special memories during the free time that they are not confined to a hard desk behind school walls.

For more traditional homeschoolers, however, such events are available to children in homeschooling circles! Many homeschooling groups organize “school-type” events such as sports, formal dances, proms, “Not-back-to-school” parties, proms, band groups, orchestra, choral singings, debate, and even full graduation nights! Some local high schools also allow part time enrollment so that homeschoolers have access to drama, sports, art, and band programs. Other high school age home schoolers have boyfriends or girlfriends in local schools, and go to those proms with them.

Making it in the Adult World

Others who question the aspects of homeschool socialization worry that the children will not develop the needed social skills to survive in the adult world. The false notion that going through the school system is the only way to produce responsible adults has taken hold of our society. In a manner quite like doublethink (from 1984), we mentally know one thing but fervantly believe another.

Think about the following connundrums of the public system in both the elementary and high school world. Is this true adult socialization?

• Sitting in hard desks all day
• Having to ask to go to the bathroom
• Walking in lines
• 15-20 minute lunches, with no chance to eat again if hungry
• Being told to stay quiet each time you speak to a friend
• Ideas and creativity are ignored
• Age segregation
• Peer dependancy
• Cliques and Popularity
• Being ridiculed, embarrassed, and made fun of
• Being told what to learn, when to learn it, and how to learn it
• Falling under a label if you don’t conform to a certain standard
• Mandated testing to show what you don’t know, followed by embarrassment
• Not being allowed to proclaim your Christian beliefs
• Being taught a theory as pure fact (evolution), and then ridiculed if you look for other answers

The school system’s way of socialization is not true socialization. How many of you, upon leaving high school, was confident in your ability to handle the adult world? More than likely, all of you. And then, once you entered your first “real” professional job you probably realized really quickly how different then “real” world was from your high school. Even if you went strait to college before entering into the business world, you probably can be heard saying how much more you learned “on the job” than you ever did in school.

School does not teach us the real world. In what other part of life will you be required to spend 40 hours per week with only those of your same age and social class? Never! In what other time of life will you have to worry about whether you will be approved by someone from the popular group or be allowed to sit at a certain table during lunch? Never!

So what social skills do children need?

• Ability to hold a conversation
• Empathy
• Money management
• Ability to hold one’s tongue
• Self-control
• Awareness of Others
• Habits of Cleanliness
• Time management
• Ability to expres oneself
• Habits of Quality Maintenance (for car, home, friendships)

Living in the real world teaches us the “real world”. And that is exactly what homeschoolers strive to provide for their children through every day life. Homeschoolers, not confined to the false socialization of the 40 hour per week public school system are able to get out and explore the goings on of routine adult life during regular “business hours” (Mon - Fri, 8 am to 5 pm). Banking errands, nature walks, grocery shopping, and various visits to places in the community provide ample introduction to the skills children need when they become adults. Many homeschool families even make it a point to include specific “life skills” learning in their homeschool curriculum, including lessons on cooking, car repair, sewing, crafting, mechanics, computer technology, house keeping, money management, and more. Human socialization happens within various scheduled activities such as homeschool group outings, field trips, vacations, beach trips, library reading circles, community crafting exibits, dance lessons, tennis lessons, band rehearsals, church group outings, sleepovers with friends, local little league games, boy/girl scouts, and even 4H clubs.

Because homeschooling famlies are so sensitive to their child’s social needs (and the doubts surrounding the stereotypes), they are very careful to schedule many activities for their child - sometimes even to the point of “overscheduling”. Some folks stay gone so much for social activities that the term “Car-schooling” has even been coined!

So as you can see, homeschooled children have a distinct early advantage in participating in the “real world”, providing them with the adequate social skills needed to make it as an adult!